I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
