Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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