I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
