Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
