I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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