stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
