I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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