Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize