you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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