yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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