I'm lost and stupid without you.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
