walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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