Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
PANTIES FOUND
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