I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
