I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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