It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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