dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Then you guys just all showered together...?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
