hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
