Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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