Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
