it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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