shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
