apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
