Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You are a genius and a whore.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
