FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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