Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
