I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My liver is preforming stress tests.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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