I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
