You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
