He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
