My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
