We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
