You made me cry and you don't even care
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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