I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
