who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
