somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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