Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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