Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
