I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Randomize
