you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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