just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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