FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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