White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
