similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize