Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize