Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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