So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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