I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
