do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Randomize
