You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
