You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize