My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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