All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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