If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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