It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
