I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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